T’was the night before Christmas

T’was the night before Christmas
By Ashley O’Driscoll, Veterinarian, Anexa FVC Ngaruawahia

‘Twas the night before Christmas in the cow shed
And all I could think about was going to bed
But the cows needed milking and the calves needed drench
And that useless old Jersey had gone through the fence.

The cows looked quite festive as they walked to the shed
With some tails painted green but mostly bright red.
Milking went well, but for one stupid cow,
And I began to relax as I hosed the yards down.

When from behind the shed there arose such a sound
That I tripped on the hose as I ran around.
For a moment I wondered if it could be the Vet
Back for some piece of gear she had carelessly left.

As I coughed and I waited for the dust to clear,
Oi, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a Fonterra Tanker slowly rolling up
With a chubby jolly man in the cab of the truck.

The poor ute was spilling an awful black smoke
as the man leaned out of the window and spoke
“Hey there, hate to say it, but I’m in a bit of bind,
And I could use your help if you don’t really mind.”

I knew in a flash that this bloke was St Nick
and decided that this was a man to assist.
“I’m, uh, fresh out of beer and the dog ate the pies”I explained
with only the slightest of lies.

But he reassured me that it wasn’t a feed
But some mode of transport that he did now need.
“Fonterra doesn’t yet know I borrowed this truck
So I doubt that they’ll fix it, now that it’s stuffed.”

So we both looked about, but what was around
was an old tired Fergie, rusting into the ground.
He exclaimed “That will do, I just need some deer.”
And in the distance… we heard a faint cheer.

Then over the hill and far down the race
The cows started running at a fairly smart pace.
They came to volunteer, with hoofbeats clapping,
They came bellowing, with udders flapping.

“Number Ten, Number One-Oh-One, what’s going on?
If you leave with Santa, who will I milk when you’re gone?”
You get but one chance to play in the pros
And I smiled at the girls as I let them all go.

“On Rosie, on Sparkles, on Casper and Twigs,
Let’s see how you cows pull this rusty ol’ Rig”.
And with a sprinkle of dust and a wink of his eye
These cows started FLYING to my very surprise.

He left me with presents, for the kids and the missus
Which gave me a chance for some hugs and some kisses.
But I started to worry, as he flew away that night
How my cows would cope with high altitude flight.

The next morning I knew I had nothing to fear,
As just before milking, all of my cows did appear.
They gave record solids, so all was quite well,
As for milking flying cows… hey that’s a story to tell!

Date Added: Wednesday, 6th December 2017


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