'Twas the night before Cowmas

'Twas the night before Cowmas
By Ashley O’Driscoll, Veterinarian Anexa Vets Ngaruawahia

‘Twas the night before Cowmas and all through the grass
Not a Jersey was stirring, except to pass gas.
They had fed themselves while the farmer had napped-
Some cows ate the silage while others ate wrap.

Laying under the stars, they started to snore,
Not having a clue what the night had in store.
When in the next paddock there was such a noise-
It must be the bulls! Those silly little boys!

Then what to their big, soft, round eyes should appear
But a flying ute and eight tiny reindeer
(Of course they weren’t reindeer, but cute Jersey calves)
Flying random circles above the feed pad.

Directing the chaos, barely in control,
Was St Nick himself, straight from the North Pole!
“On Sparkles! On Ginger, Tupac and Snow White!
Now Panda! Now Spotty, descend from our flight!”

Like herding wild cats or trying to catch jelly
They veered through the air and landed on bellies.
They crashed into cows where they peacefully lie
As the “calf-deer” cartwheeled down out of the sky.

A short time later, as the cows settled down,
St Nick called to them all to gather around.
He wasted no time but went straight to his work
And gave out each present, according to quirks.

Two-oh-four got a good long scratch on the head,
While Ten got a pass to the front of the shed.
A few got Molasses, a few PKE.
But one cow got a gift that the rest envied.

Number Eighteen made milk so creamy and thick
That she got a present of bright pink lipstick!
She wore it with pride, on her lips and her nose
But managed to eat it while painting her toes.

So next Cowmas eve, when you tuck them in bed
Remember what jolly St Nick always said:
“Merry Cowmas, cows! Enjoy this special night-
I’ve knocked over the fence, so go where you like!”


Date Added: Wednesday, 5th December 2018


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